Well ladies and gentlemen, this is officially my last required post for The Sandbox. This doesn't necessarily mean the end of The Sandbox, because I'm really starting to enjoy this whole blogging thing and would like to continue with it. You can think of this post as my last album with a certain record company, and now I am a free agent. I can post whenever I want, no word counts, posts per week, etc. I can write about whatever I want now, doesn't have to be "school appropriate" or whatever, a term that really has no definition yet somehow exists and is repeated daily by d-bag school administrators and superintendents who I will call d-bags only for the sake of anonymity. Their real names are actually quite more vulgar and offensive than the term d-bag anyway.
Anyway, all BS aside, like I was saying about the free agent analogy thing, I still plan on keeping this blog active. The only thing that's bugging me though, is I really want to know if I'm getting any traffic on this blog at all. I don't want to be writing just for myself, now that I'm not writing it for a teacher. I'm probably going to install a hit counter so I can see if anyone is ever strolling through my sandbox here. If I think that people want more, I will keep writing. I have a lot to say, and I'm eager to say it, so long as someone actually hears it.
Blogging itself has been an enjoyable experience this year, I'd never blogged before, nor even done anything like it. Never kept a journal, never done any sort of periodic writing like this. Of course at first it was hard to maintain the requirements, but eventually I was realizing that all my posts were generally 100-200 words above the necessary word count. In my drafts section, I have COUNTLESS posts that I've started but just haven't gotten around to finishing yet, I have enough material to keep this blog up for months and years to come if I really wanted to. I might move to another site, I'm not too crazy about blogger, or the way things work on this site, but I'll keep the same name and everything. I've enjoyed reading other people's blogs too, but it was mainly writing what was on my mind that kept me blogging throughout this year.
Anyways, this isn't the end don't worry! Just reheat the hookah and stop by again sometime, who knows what might be going on over here.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Top Five Sodas
This post is about the top five sodas ever to grace the planet.
5) Mountain Dew Livewire: A hearty mix of only one of the greatest sodas ever made (Mountain Dew) and the zesty tang of a delicious orange, this pop is a must have in any serious soda-drinker's fridge. I recommend in 2 liter format, because that's where one can savor the flavors of the orange mixed with the Dew the best, especially if you serve it in a glass.
4) Vanilla Pepsi: Better than Vanilla Coke, and great with food. A very rare treat, if you ever see Vanilla Pepsi, go for it, no matter what other options you may have. Good in cans, glass, plastic bottles, whatever, doesn't even need to be that cold. Warm Vanilla Pepsi is actually a delicacy for those of us who are cultured enough to realize and appreciate its true taste.
3) Mirinda Green Apple: I don't think this pop is sold in the United States, what a shame. Miranda is basically Egypt's version of Fanta, a shitty coke brand. Imagine the taste of Green Apple Jolly Ranchers, now mix that with a sprite or something, leave the promethazine out lol. Anyway, its very, very delicious, and leaves a nice apple taste in your mouth for a while.
2) Mountain Dew: Ah, Mountain Dew. The King of all things with High Fructose Corn Syrup. A gamer's fuel, the very liquid running in my veins. Mountain Dew is broken down as follows:
10% label ingredients
50% Water
45% HFCS
5% Heavenly ingredients.
As you can see, Mountain Dew is clearly superior to your favorite soda, and even you. Mountain Dew can be consumed in any way possible, so long as its just consumed. In bottles, glasses, poured over your food, in cans, licked off the table, snorted with a straw, whatever. I've even heard stories of people freezing a cup of Dew and putting a stick in it to make a Mountain Dew Popsicle. That's beast. If you don't have Mountain Dew in your fridge right now, I don't know what to tell you.
1) Fairuz Pineapple: If you haven't ever heard of Fairuz (fey-rooz) Pineapple, its okay, there may still be hope for you. I'm assuming you've never heard of it because you live in America, and never been to Egypt, typical of people who don't have a refined taste in soda. Fairuz itself is a malt beverage, similar to many beers (minus the alcohol of course) and is found in many different flavors including but not limited to: pineapple, grape, apple, orange, mango, and peach. Fairuz was the preferred drink of the biggest badass to ever live, Sir Muharram of Alexandria, great grandfather of the strongest man who ever lived. Its been proven to refresh even the most tired gamer, cure infectious diseases, provide immunity against the rabies-infested dogs in Egypt, and just all around kick ass. Its typical for your average Alexandrian to consume roughly 6 cans of Fairuz a day.
5) Mountain Dew Livewire: A hearty mix of only one of the greatest sodas ever made (Mountain Dew) and the zesty tang of a delicious orange, this pop is a must have in any serious soda-drinker's fridge. I recommend in 2 liter format, because that's where one can savor the flavors of the orange mixed with the Dew the best, especially if you serve it in a glass.
4) Vanilla Pepsi: Better than Vanilla Coke, and great with food. A very rare treat, if you ever see Vanilla Pepsi, go for it, no matter what other options you may have. Good in cans, glass, plastic bottles, whatever, doesn't even need to be that cold. Warm Vanilla Pepsi is actually a delicacy for those of us who are cultured enough to realize and appreciate its true taste.
3) Mirinda Green Apple: I don't think this pop is sold in the United States, what a shame. Miranda is basically Egypt's version of Fanta, a shitty coke brand. Imagine the taste of Green Apple Jolly Ranchers, now mix that with a sprite or something, leave the promethazine out lol. Anyway, its very, very delicious, and leaves a nice apple taste in your mouth for a while.
2) Mountain Dew: Ah, Mountain Dew. The King of all things with High Fructose Corn Syrup. A gamer's fuel, the very liquid running in my veins. Mountain Dew is broken down as follows:
10% label ingredients
50% Water
45% HFCS
5% Heavenly ingredients.
As you can see, Mountain Dew is clearly superior to your favorite soda, and even you. Mountain Dew can be consumed in any way possible, so long as its just consumed. In bottles, glasses, poured over your food, in cans, licked off the table, snorted with a straw, whatever. I've even heard stories of people freezing a cup of Dew and putting a stick in it to make a Mountain Dew Popsicle. That's beast. If you don't have Mountain Dew in your fridge right now, I don't know what to tell you.
1) Fairuz Pineapple: If you haven't ever heard of Fairuz (fey-rooz) Pineapple, its okay, there may still be hope for you. I'm assuming you've never heard of it because you live in America, and never been to Egypt, typical of people who don't have a refined taste in soda. Fairuz itself is a malt beverage, similar to many beers (minus the alcohol of course) and is found in many different flavors including but not limited to: pineapple, grape, apple, orange, mango, and peach. Fairuz was the preferred drink of the biggest badass to ever live, Sir Muharram of Alexandria, great grandfather of the strongest man who ever lived. Its been proven to refresh even the most tired gamer, cure infectious diseases, provide immunity against the rabies-infested dogs in Egypt, and just all around kick ass. Its typical for your average Alexandrian to consume roughly 6 cans of Fairuz a day.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
9/10 Video games are terrible, and so are the people who play them
After my post about how much professional sports games suck, it came to my attention that the vast majority of video games are terrible.
Here's a list of terrible video games and the people who play them:
1) Madden games. These games are terrible. Its the epitome of today's gag inducing obsession with professional sports. I don't even consider Madden players real gamers. I wonder what goes through their minds sometimes while they're playing.
2) NASCAR games. Racing games in general are terrible, except for a few exceptions. Again, racing games fall under the category of the same game every single year, yet a different skin over the cars and the maps. Nothing new. I have more fun running around a track then playing Need for Speed, and I'd rather be water boarded for twenty four continuous hours than run recreationally. The people who play these games are generally the type of people who will race down to the cafeteria during lunch as soon as they can, proving my hypothesis that they're all sheep.
3) Guitar Hero/Rockband. What is it with these games anyway? Every time I go to a store like Bestbuy or whatever, I see unemployed, "band members" standing in front of the TV jumping around waiting for their turn to do whatever it is people who play this game do. You see, I've never played either of these games. To me, they are a really cheap ripoff of the one and only Dance Dance Revolution, a game which really took skill. I hate people who think they're a rock star playing these games. I see them all the time, they get so into it, it pisses me off. No, you aren't in a band, you're either in high school and never will be in a band, or you're unemployed thinking you'll make it big someday.
4) MMORPG games. MMO games (Massively Multiplayer online role playing games) are games in which a player can create a "character" and assume their role in a massive, real time environment with millions of other people simultaneously. Examples include: Runescape, Star Wars Galaxies, Everquest, and most notorious of all, World of Warcraft. In order to "get better" at these games, one must level their character up. A process which can take anywhere from months, to YEARS.
God, I don't even know where to begin. I'll start with this, I personally know several MMO players who also happen to lead normal, constructive, otherwise unaffected lives. BUT, the other 90+% of MMO players are a completely different story. The negative stereotype that plagues gamers was undoubtedly aimed at MMO gamers. because of the sheer nature of the game, you will be forced to play this game for a very long time, in prolonged periods. In fact, there are stories of people who have admitted to playing World of Warcraft for SIXTY HOURS A WEEK. That's more than eight hours a day, or a full time job. Naturally, parameters like hygiene, weight stability, and overall health are spat on when one plays a game for this long. Again, MMOs are played by millions of people around the globe, there are exceptions to what I've just explained, but I have seen groups of people waiting outside Wall Mart for nearly an entire day, just so they can get their hands on the new expansion or whatever. I have friends who will LOCK themselves into their houses every now and then so they can binge- game. It's a disease, and its infectious too, I almost started playing these games, but I pulled myself away at the last second.
Here's a list of terrible video games and the people who play them:
1) Madden games. These games are terrible. Its the epitome of today's gag inducing obsession with professional sports. I don't even consider Madden players real gamers. I wonder what goes through their minds sometimes while they're playing.
2) NASCAR games. Racing games in general are terrible, except for a few exceptions. Again, racing games fall under the category of the same game every single year, yet a different skin over the cars and the maps. Nothing new. I have more fun running around a track then playing Need for Speed, and I'd rather be water boarded for twenty four continuous hours than run recreationally. The people who play these games are generally the type of people who will race down to the cafeteria during lunch as soon as they can, proving my hypothesis that they're all sheep.
3) Guitar Hero/Rockband. What is it with these games anyway? Every time I go to a store like Bestbuy or whatever, I see unemployed, "band members" standing in front of the TV jumping around waiting for their turn to do whatever it is people who play this game do. You see, I've never played either of these games. To me, they are a really cheap ripoff of the one and only Dance Dance Revolution, a game which really took skill. I hate people who think they're a rock star playing these games. I see them all the time, they get so into it, it pisses me off. No, you aren't in a band, you're either in high school and never will be in a band, or you're unemployed thinking you'll make it big someday.
4) MMORPG games. MMO games (Massively Multiplayer online role playing games) are games in which a player can create a "character" and assume their role in a massive, real time environment with millions of other people simultaneously. Examples include: Runescape, Star Wars Galaxies, Everquest, and most notorious of all, World of Warcraft. In order to "get better" at these games, one must level their character up. A process which can take anywhere from months, to YEARS.
God, I don't even know where to begin. I'll start with this, I personally know several MMO players who also happen to lead normal, constructive, otherwise unaffected lives. BUT, the other 90+% of MMO players are a completely different story. The negative stereotype that plagues gamers was undoubtedly aimed at MMO gamers. because of the sheer nature of the game, you will be forced to play this game for a very long time, in prolonged periods. In fact, there are stories of people who have admitted to playing World of Warcraft for SIXTY HOURS A WEEK. That's more than eight hours a day, or a full time job. Naturally, parameters like hygiene, weight stability, and overall health are spat on when one plays a game for this long. Again, MMOs are played by millions of people around the globe, there are exceptions to what I've just explained, but I have seen groups of people waiting outside Wall Mart for nearly an entire day, just so they can get their hands on the new expansion or whatever. I have friends who will LOCK themselves into their houses every now and then so they can binge- game. It's a disease, and its infectious too, I almost started playing these games, but I pulled myself away at the last second.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Shout out to Muharram Bey
If you find yourself asking, "what the hell is Muharram Bey" its okay, that's what this blog is for. You see, I come from Alexandria, Egypt. And specifically from the district called Muharram Bey (much like New York's Harlem or LA's Beverly Hills or w/e). Muharram Bey literally means "Sir Muharram," Muharram (Mu-har-um) himself was an early leader of the city of Alexandria, way, way, way back in the day. He was a beast from what I hear though. He was ruling Alexandria during the 1920s, back when it was still a really nice, clean place. A lot has changed since, but my small district still remains today to honor his name.
I'm writing this post because I feel like I haven't at all addressed my heritage in this blog, and I just quickly wanted to touch on it. This place is awesome, and not just because I was born and raised there. If anything, being born and raised there is what made me so awesome LOL. Anyway, all BS aside, if any of you ever get a chance to leave the United States, consider coming to Alexandria. But NEVER, consider coming to Muharram Bey. Because you will get owned. They don't like tourists. They don't even like other Egyptians, or other Alexandrians for that matter.
In fact, now that I think about it, these people have beef with everyone. Look at them funny and you might have a razor blade making confetti with your face, true story, freak accidents like this happen ALL THE TIME. Let me tell you guys something else. Alexandrians are really, really superstitious people. Its not uncommon to have a missing family member in each household because they were the victim of some "ghost uprising one night." To add to the mix, Muharram Bey is as old as hell. There are buildings there that are only standing because God hasn't willed them to fall yet, I mean this place is FREAKISHLY old. And at night, its so fricking scary I've peed my pants running home at night once when I was really little. Anyway, so this mix of grotesquely old and haunted seeming buildings and the superstitious nature of Alexandrians, multiplies the whole creepiness factor by over 9000.
Another thing, this place is not for the faint hearted. The Middle East as a whole is considered to be a pretty dirty place by most American peoples' standards who have actually been there before. Well guess what, Muharram Bey is like the SLUM of the Middle East. Just last year, when I was over there for the summer, someone tried flushing slaughtered lamb remains down the toilet, and the ENTIRE PLUMBING SYSTEM OF THE BLOCK FAILED. All the roads were covered in fast moving streams of sewage water for weeks. Which in turn caused people, for reasons I'll never understand, to invite themselves to throw all their garbage on the sidewalks, making it damn near impossible to even think about leaving your house. I was sitting on my stoop with my friends one day, when this insanely fast moving van pancaked the shit out of little kitten that was licking itself peacefully in the middle of the road. It remained there for the better part of a month. The smell got so bad, and the carcass was covered in flies to the point where the only way to get rid of it was to drive over it again, until there would be nothing there to rot.
Now, you might be thinking, wow, this place really sucks man. In a way it does. Yes it sucks when the electricity will go out at random times throughout the day for no reason, yes it sucks that we don't get running water except for a short, two hour period during the day, hell yeah it sucks that most of the dogs there have rabies and are about as big as the average sizes lion and can tear a fully grown man into shreds. But, its still my home, and I still love going back there. I love sitting at the coffee shops until the wee hours of the morning with my long- time friends. I love the fact that everything in Muharram Bey is so ridiculously cheap; I can buy around ten pop cans a day and not feel a dent in my pocket. Most of all, I love Muharram Bey because that's where my family and friends all are, and I can always go back there and be welcomed.
My street in Muharram Bey.
I'm writing this post because I feel like I haven't at all addressed my heritage in this blog, and I just quickly wanted to touch on it. This place is awesome, and not just because I was born and raised there. If anything, being born and raised there is what made me so awesome LOL. Anyway, all BS aside, if any of you ever get a chance to leave the United States, consider coming to Alexandria. But NEVER, consider coming to Muharram Bey. Because you will get owned. They don't like tourists. They don't even like other Egyptians, or other Alexandrians for that matter.
In fact, now that I think about it, these people have beef with everyone. Look at them funny and you might have a razor blade making confetti with your face, true story, freak accidents like this happen ALL THE TIME. Let me tell you guys something else. Alexandrians are really, really superstitious people. Its not uncommon to have a missing family member in each household because they were the victim of some "ghost uprising one night." To add to the mix, Muharram Bey is as old as hell. There are buildings there that are only standing because God hasn't willed them to fall yet, I mean this place is FREAKISHLY old. And at night, its so fricking scary I've peed my pants running home at night once when I was really little. Anyway, so this mix of grotesquely old and haunted seeming buildings and the superstitious nature of Alexandrians, multiplies the whole creepiness factor by over 9000.
Another thing, this place is not for the faint hearted. The Middle East as a whole is considered to be a pretty dirty place by most American peoples' standards who have actually been there before. Well guess what, Muharram Bey is like the SLUM of the Middle East. Just last year, when I was over there for the summer, someone tried flushing slaughtered lamb remains down the toilet, and the ENTIRE PLUMBING SYSTEM OF THE BLOCK FAILED. All the roads were covered in fast moving streams of sewage water for weeks. Which in turn caused people, for reasons I'll never understand, to invite themselves to throw all their garbage on the sidewalks, making it damn near impossible to even think about leaving your house. I was sitting on my stoop with my friends one day, when this insanely fast moving van pancaked the shit out of little kitten that was licking itself peacefully in the middle of the road. It remained there for the better part of a month. The smell got so bad, and the carcass was covered in flies to the point where the only way to get rid of it was to drive over it again, until there would be nothing there to rot.
Now, you might be thinking, wow, this place really sucks man. In a way it does. Yes it sucks when the electricity will go out at random times throughout the day for no reason, yes it sucks that we don't get running water except for a short, two hour period during the day, hell yeah it sucks that most of the dogs there have rabies and are about as big as the average sizes lion and can tear a fully grown man into shreds. But, its still my home, and I still love going back there. I love sitting at the coffee shops until the wee hours of the morning with my long- time friends. I love the fact that everything in Muharram Bey is so ridiculously cheap; I can buy around ten pop cans a day and not feel a dent in my pocket. Most of all, I love Muharram Bey because that's where my family and friends all are, and I can always go back there and be welcomed.
My street in Muharram Bey.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
A Closer Look at Eminem's Lyricism
As anyone who is a fan of Eminem can attest, this guy's lyrical ability is insane. From his freestyles to his diss songs to whatever it may be, you can count on his lyrics to blow you out of the water. Pair them up with some of Dr. Dre's powerful beats, and you have yourself a classic. I've taken the liberty of amassing some of Slim Shady's greatest collection of lyrics, from his earliest days up until the upcoming release of his latest album, Relapse.
Here's a short list of various verses from Eminem which speak for themselves on how much skill he has as a rapper/lyricist.
I'm the one man on the planet that'll drive off of the Grand Canyon
Hop out of my Grand AM and land handstandin'
Any man planning to battle me will get snatched out of his clothes so fast
it'll look like an invisible man standin'
I'm headed for hell
I'd rather be dead or in jail
Bill Clinton, hit this, and you better inhale
Because any MC choosing to go against me is gettin taken advantage of, like Monica Lewinsky
I came home in a frenzy, pushing my ten speed
screaming to my aunt Peg, with three spokes sticking out of my pant leg
F*ck a headache, gimme a migraine,
damnit I like pain, and you should be anywhere that a mic ain't
You rap knowin you whack
You act up and I'm throwing you down a flight of steps
Then I'm throwing back up em'
If they dont like this track, f*ck em'
The rap struck em harder than getting hit by a Mack truck and then backed up on
DAMN. That is all I have to say about that. That was a FREESTYLE. As in, off the top of his head. That's crazy.
Here's another one, this was a diss song called Till I Collapse, where he was replying to the rapper Ja Rule's insults toward his own daughter. He went crazy here.
Soon as a verse starts I eat it at MC's heart
what is he thinking? I'ma not to go against me, smart.
And its absurd how people hang on every word.
I'll probably never get the props I feel I ever deserve
But I'll never be served my spot is forever reserved
If I ever leave earth that would be the death of me first.
Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse.
That's why I'm clever when I put together every verse
My thoughts are sporadic, I act like I'm an addict
I rap like I'm addicted to smack like I'm Kim Mathers.
But I don't want to go forth and back in constant battles
The fact is I would rather sit back and bump some rappers.
So this is like a full blown attack I'm launching at them
The track is on some battling raps who want some static
Cause I don't really think that the fact that I'm Slim matters
A plaque of platinum status is whack if I'm not the baddest.
Look at this guy's diversity, he can go from hilarious anecdotes about how he chased his highschool teacher around the class with a stapler, to these serious tracks which assassinate rappers. There's a lot more, I just can't think of any right now.
Here's a short list of various verses from Eminem which speak for themselves on how much skill he has as a rapper/lyricist.
I'm the one man on the planet that'll drive off of the Grand Canyon
Hop out of my Grand AM and land handstandin'
Any man planning to battle me will get snatched out of his clothes so fast
it'll look like an invisible man standin'
I'm headed for hell
I'd rather be dead or in jail
Bill Clinton, hit this, and you better inhale
Because any MC choosing to go against me is gettin taken advantage of, like Monica Lewinsky
I came home in a frenzy, pushing my ten speed
screaming to my aunt Peg, with three spokes sticking out of my pant leg
F*ck a headache, gimme a migraine,
damnit I like pain, and you should be anywhere that a mic ain't
You rap knowin you whack
You act up and I'm throwing you down a flight of steps
Then I'm throwing back up em'
If they dont like this track, f*ck em'
The rap struck em harder than getting hit by a Mack truck and then backed up on
DAMN. That is all I have to say about that. That was a FREESTYLE. As in, off the top of his head. That's crazy.
Here's another one, this was a diss song called Till I Collapse, where he was replying to the rapper Ja Rule's insults toward his own daughter. He went crazy here.
Soon as a verse starts I eat it at MC's heart
what is he thinking? I'ma not to go against me, smart.
And its absurd how people hang on every word.
I'll probably never get the props I feel I ever deserve
But I'll never be served my spot is forever reserved
If I ever leave earth that would be the death of me first.
Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse.
That's why I'm clever when I put together every verse
My thoughts are sporadic, I act like I'm an addict
I rap like I'm addicted to smack like I'm Kim Mathers.
But I don't want to go forth and back in constant battles
The fact is I would rather sit back and bump some rappers.
So this is like a full blown attack I'm launching at them
The track is on some battling raps who want some static
Cause I don't really think that the fact that I'm Slim matters
A plaque of platinum status is whack if I'm not the baddest.
Look at this guy's diversity, he can go from hilarious anecdotes about how he chased his highschool teacher around the class with a stapler, to these serious tracks which assassinate rappers. There's a lot more, I just can't think of any right now.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The World Will Relapse on May 19th
With Eminem's LOOOOOOOOOONG awaited fifth album release Relapse due in just a couple of weeks, a lot of buzz and controversy has been going on in the rap world. For starters, each one of his singles so far has spurred a lot of hate from the media towards himself, the genre, its fans, everything. But, what the hell else could be expected when you're talking about SLIM SHADY??? Its been a long time since we've heard anything new by Eminem, sure there was the occasional underground remix or featured single or whatever, but for the most part, Eminem fans like myself have been forced to listen to his while classic, but outdated older albums. I'm not complaining, songs like "Lose Yourself," "My Name Is," etc, will NEVER get old.
The title of his album is actually talking about Eminem himself, who during this mysterious disappearance from the public for several years, he was coping with an addiction to prescription pills. Recently, he has begun talking a lot about this addiction he had, and the troubles it brought. He claims the main reason he started using these pills in the first place was because he was trying to deal with the murder of a very dear friend of his Proof, a late member of the rap group D12. He then couldn't pull himself out of this cocktail of Vicodin, and other pills which would make him high. Pictures of him gaining serious weight started appearing on the Internet, which he claims were also a result of his habits. Addiction to drugs runs in his family he claims. He said he was finally able to now understand his mother, a person whom he'd been feuding with publicly for the better part of his career. It wasn't until his doctor told him that he was going to die if he kept this up, that he stopped.
In a recent interview with XXl magazine, Eminem told the world his story over the past five or so years, and how he is trying to get out of it. He said he hadn't recorded a song while being sober in as long as he could remember, until now. Rap wasn't cutting it for him anymore, he said it used to make him high, but it was no longer doing that, so he resorted to taking pills instead. Now though, he is back in the rap game strong as ever, and Relapse is just around the corner. But, some people think Relapse is a little too late. They say the days Eminem's controversy are long over, something which I disagree with. Sure yeah, the world was getting by without Eminem, but when he gets back, people will realize that rap was really hurting and they're glad to have him back.
Relapse's cover art, unique, not unlike what we're used to with Eminem.
The title of his album is actually talking about Eminem himself, who during this mysterious disappearance from the public for several years, he was coping with an addiction to prescription pills. Recently, he has begun talking a lot about this addiction he had, and the troubles it brought. He claims the main reason he started using these pills in the first place was because he was trying to deal with the murder of a very dear friend of his Proof, a late member of the rap group D12. He then couldn't pull himself out of this cocktail of Vicodin, and other pills which would make him high. Pictures of him gaining serious weight started appearing on the Internet, which he claims were also a result of his habits. Addiction to drugs runs in his family he claims. He said he was finally able to now understand his mother, a person whom he'd been feuding with publicly for the better part of his career. It wasn't until his doctor told him that he was going to die if he kept this up, that he stopped.
In a recent interview with XXl magazine, Eminem told the world his story over the past five or so years, and how he is trying to get out of it. He said he hadn't recorded a song while being sober in as long as he could remember, until now. Rap wasn't cutting it for him anymore, he said it used to make him high, but it was no longer doing that, so he resorted to taking pills instead. Now though, he is back in the rap game strong as ever, and Relapse is just around the corner. But, some people think Relapse is a little too late. They say the days Eminem's controversy are long over, something which I disagree with. Sure yeah, the world was getting by without Eminem, but when he gets back, people will realize that rap was really hurting and they're glad to have him back.
Relapse's cover art, unique, not unlike what we're used to with Eminem.
Relapse Singles So Far
In the time awaiting Eminem's new album, he has released a bit of sample material, as is common amongst rappers these days. The four singles that have hit the streets so far, "Crack a Bottle", "We Made You", "3 AM", and "Old Time's Sake", have their equal share of avid fans eager to get more of the Eminem they thought went away, and people who weren't too crazy about any of them. This is only expected, seeing as back in the days of the Eminem Show, the man was under so much scrutiny and hatred from the public on the subject matter of his rap, something which I'll never understand because A) if this music bothered people so much, why did they listen to it, and B) music relating to the subject material that Eminem rapped about is STILL prevalent today, even in genres other than rap, yet this goes oddly unnoticed.
Crack a Bottle for instance, is looked down upon by a lot of disgruntled mothers upset with his crude lyrics and suggestive themes. Guess what, Slim Shady is back 100%. Have you for a second forgotten who exactly is Slim Shady? The guy who bore the responsibility of corrupting many a young boy's mind after listening to songs like "Superman" and "Guilty Conscience"? Yes, that guy.
His next single "We Made You" is also stirring up quite a bit of controversy lately. In this song, Eminem bashes lots and lots of celebrities, including but not limited to: Jessica Simpson, and Sarah Palin. Naturally, what he said about the latter upset many people who align themselves with Bill O'Reily and his politics. The guy openly came about and expressed his displeasure with Eminem's song, which he feels went too far.
Next, Eminem released the song "3 AM," a horrific tale of a man coping with an addiction to pills who goes on unnaturally violent and grotesque killing sprees while under the influence. Personally, I think this song is easily the best he's had so far on his album. He raps with a really deranged seeming accent, something which many listeners aren't too crazy about. I feel like this actually adds to what the song is supposed to feel like, which is a crazy horror story-type situation.
His last single released so far, "Old Time's Sake" was just released like a day or two ago, so I doubt many people have heard it and have made their own opinions on it, but I like it. The beat is nice, and it feature's Dr. Dre, a long time companion and mentor of Eminem.
The only thing we can be sure about from all of this material, is that the best is yet to come. May 19th can't get here soon enough so we can finally stop holding our collective breaths waiting for this infamous album to land.
Crack a Bottle for instance, is looked down upon by a lot of disgruntled mothers upset with his crude lyrics and suggestive themes. Guess what, Slim Shady is back 100%. Have you for a second forgotten who exactly is Slim Shady? The guy who bore the responsibility of corrupting many a young boy's mind after listening to songs like "Superman" and "Guilty Conscience"? Yes, that guy.
His next single "We Made You" is also stirring up quite a bit of controversy lately. In this song, Eminem bashes lots and lots of celebrities, including but not limited to: Jessica Simpson, and Sarah Palin. Naturally, what he said about the latter upset many people who align themselves with Bill O'Reily and his politics. The guy openly came about and expressed his displeasure with Eminem's song, which he feels went too far.
Next, Eminem released the song "3 AM," a horrific tale of a man coping with an addiction to pills who goes on unnaturally violent and grotesque killing sprees while under the influence. Personally, I think this song is easily the best he's had so far on his album. He raps with a really deranged seeming accent, something which many listeners aren't too crazy about. I feel like this actually adds to what the song is supposed to feel like, which is a crazy horror story-type situation.
His last single released so far, "Old Time's Sake" was just released like a day or two ago, so I doubt many people have heard it and have made their own opinions on it, but I like it. The beat is nice, and it feature's Dr. Dre, a long time companion and mentor of Eminem.
The only thing we can be sure about from all of this material, is that the best is yet to come. May 19th can't get here soon enough so we can finally stop holding our collective breaths waiting for this infamous album to land.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Three Kings working together, how could it get any better?
I was browsing YouTube the other day, and I stumbled across a music video I haven't heard in a long time. An underground remix called "Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It." A song originally by Ice Cube, his last two verses were taken out and substituted with verses from rappers Nas and Scarface. Each of these three rappers is easily amongst the best, all of them are in my top ten of all time. Scarface is easily the best of South, originating in Houston, TX sometime in the late 80s. Ice Cube is a west coast king who was a member of NWA back in the late 80s as well. Nas is an east coast king who is considered one of the best lyricists alive today, save for Eminem.
[Ice Cube]
You're looking at the Grand Wizard
War lord, vocal chord so vicious
And I don't have to show riches
To pull up pull off with some bad bitches
And it ain't about chivalry
It's about dope lyrics and delivery
It's about my persona
Ain't nothing like a man that can do what he wanna
Ain't nothing like man that you knew on the corner
Seen 'em come up and fuck up the owner
Seen 'em throw up Westside California
Nigga I'm hot as Phoenix Arizona
I'm Utah, I got multiple bitches
It's a new law, keep a hold of your riches
Dumb nigga don't spend it as soon as you get it
And recognize I'm a Captain, you're a Lieutenant
[Chorus (Ice Cube)]
I can say what I want to say, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I call you a nigga, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
I can act like an animal, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I eat you like a cannibal, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
[Scarface]
Nah nigga blame me, for severing cocaine to the geeks
Gangbanging the streets, shooting guns where you sleep
Putting niggas in sheets, the noose hung from the tree
The corrupted police, I ain't denying it was me
I'm the reason for the set back in blacks
It's a natural fact, that gangsta rap did that
I hope that Barack could pull the troops for Iraq
'Cause the truth is Iran, got them nuclear plants
I can shoot me a cat in the head with a gat
For a man that considers me a nigger when I'm back in the slums
Waiting for a check like a bum
Look how I did them niggas often numb
Hard, I got the strolls full of hoes
Liquor stores off the road
Big church on the corner with a spot for my rose
A glock for my foes, wiping snot from my nose
I'm guilty of it all, but I am not 'fenna fold
[Chorus (Ice Cube)]
So if I act like a pimp, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I call you a nappy headed hoe, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I shoot up your college, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I rob you of knowledge, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
[Nas]
Uh, if they call you a nigger, ain't nuttin to it
Tell 'em Nas made you do it
Felonious, The looniest most melodic; Monster Cody OG
Hard as Rampart's police, warring like the ends was in Sunni
I never pull my pants up, sagging my Gucci's, and what?
I give a fuck who you bidded with, or where you cop coke
The bitch you with or the reason you're not broke
I don't count your money, don't want none of your smoke
I don't feel your pain, I ain't none of your folk
It's easy to put a gun in your throat
But I ain't on that, trying to sip Colada's where it's warm at
Cognac, crushed ice, y'all know how it is
Elijah said - A women half your age plus seven years
It's a plush way to live, this is for the blunted
For the niggas who keep it one hundred
Who're hunted by DA's and Judges
[Chorus (Ice Cube)]
If I sell a liitle crack, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I die in Iraq, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I take you for granted, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I fuck up the planet, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
The thing about these unofficial remixes, is nine times out of ten the lyrics don't match up. None of them flow together, everyone's rapping about a totally different subject. This is one is not like that at all, all three rappers are focusing on the same subject, which is basically that blaming rap for society's problems is ridiculous.
[Ice Cube]
You're looking at the Grand Wizard
War lord, vocal chord so vicious
And I don't have to show riches
To pull up pull off with some bad bitches
And it ain't about chivalry
It's about dope lyrics and delivery
It's about my persona
Ain't nothing like a man that can do what he wanna
Ain't nothing like man that you knew on the corner
Seen 'em come up and fuck up the owner
Seen 'em throw up Westside California
Nigga I'm hot as Phoenix Arizona
I'm Utah, I got multiple bitches
It's a new law, keep a hold of your riches
Dumb nigga don't spend it as soon as you get it
And recognize I'm a Captain, you're a Lieutenant
[Chorus (Ice Cube)]
I can say what I want to say, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I call you a nigga, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
I can act like an animal, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I eat you like a cannibal, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
[Scarface]
Nah nigga blame me, for severing cocaine to the geeks
Gangbanging the streets, shooting guns where you sleep
Putting niggas in sheets, the noose hung from the tree
The corrupted police, I ain't denying it was me
I'm the reason for the set back in blacks
It's a natural fact, that gangsta rap did that
I hope that Barack could pull the troops for Iraq
'Cause the truth is Iran, got them nuclear plants
I can shoot me a cat in the head with a gat
For a man that considers me a nigger when I'm back in the slums
Waiting for a check like a bum
Look how I did them niggas often numb
Hard, I got the strolls full of hoes
Liquor stores off the road
Big church on the corner with a spot for my rose
A glock for my foes, wiping snot from my nose
I'm guilty of it all, but I am not 'fenna fold
[Chorus (Ice Cube)]
So if I act like a pimp, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I call you a nappy headed hoe, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I shoot up your college, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I rob you of knowledge, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
[Nas]
Uh, if they call you a nigger, ain't nuttin to it
Tell 'em Nas made you do it
Felonious, The looniest most melodic; Monster Cody OG
Hard as Rampart's police, warring like the ends was in Sunni
I never pull my pants up, sagging my Gucci's, and what?
I give a fuck who you bidded with, or where you cop coke
The bitch you with or the reason you're not broke
I don't count your money, don't want none of your smoke
I don't feel your pain, I ain't none of your folk
It's easy to put a gun in your throat
But I ain't on that, trying to sip Colada's where it's warm at
Cognac, crushed ice, y'all know how it is
Elijah said - A women half your age plus seven years
It's a plush way to live, this is for the blunted
For the niggas who keep it one hundred
Who're hunted by DA's and Judges
[Chorus (Ice Cube)]
If I sell a liitle crack, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I die in Iraq, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I take you for granted, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
If I fuck up the planet, ain't nuttin to it
Gangsta rap made me do it
The thing about these unofficial remixes, is nine times out of ten the lyrics don't match up. None of them flow together, everyone's rapping about a totally different subject. This is one is not like that at all, all three rappers are focusing on the same subject, which is basically that blaming rap for society's problems is ridiculous.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
More on why I hate emo/punk/metal/goth culture
I realized that a mere 500 words is not nearly sufficient to thoroughly explain my hatred and rationale behind said hatred of these individuals.
For starters, What purpose do these people serve? Absolutely NOTHING. Unless you count adding to the asshattery of the Kennedy halls during passing time, then they are utterly worthless. 100% of them, quote me on this, fail at school. Some of them might actually have a small shred of intelligence buried somewhere under their mass of dirty hair, but they never apply themselves. They'd rather sit at their desks blaring their slipknot shit or whatever they listen to until they go deaf at 30 because of lack of care for their bodies.
Now, by now, you must be thinking "Well I listen to genre X of music listed above, yet I don't consider myself like these people at all!!" The truth is, if you align yourself with these people at all, as in, you listen to their music, you are one of them. I don't care if you're a "death metal" fan as opposed to a "trash metal" fan. I haven't the slightest idea in hell what the difference is, and as far as I'm concerned, if you find someone wearing chained pants and fake blood all over their face cool, you are one of them yes.
Here is a quote from Maddox, the author of easily the Best Page in the Universe, someone who is with no doubt entitled to make blanket statements about people and everyone should accept them with no questions asked.
As you can clearly see, these people have some serious issues that need to be dealt with ASAP. Like I've stated before, they're just faking to get attention, that's all it is. There are other ways to deal with problems in your life. Doing drugs, burning churches, and inflicting physical pain on yourself is the coward way out in my opinion. These people need to wake up and realize that they aren't helping their situation at all doing what they're doing.
I think I've said all there is to say about these people and why they suck. Thanks for hearing me out.
For starters, What purpose do these people serve? Absolutely NOTHING. Unless you count adding to the asshattery of the Kennedy halls during passing time, then they are utterly worthless. 100% of them, quote me on this, fail at school. Some of them might actually have a small shred of intelligence buried somewhere under their mass of dirty hair, but they never apply themselves. They'd rather sit at their desks blaring their slipknot shit or whatever they listen to until they go deaf at 30 because of lack of care for their bodies.
Now, by now, you must be thinking "Well I listen to genre X of music listed above, yet I don't consider myself like these people at all!!" The truth is, if you align yourself with these people at all, as in, you listen to their music, you are one of them. I don't care if you're a "death metal" fan as opposed to a "trash metal" fan. I haven't the slightest idea in hell what the difference is, and as far as I'm concerned, if you find someone wearing chained pants and fake blood all over their face cool, you are one of them yes.
Here is a quote from Maddox, the author of easily the Best Page in the Universe, someone who is with no doubt entitled to make blanket statements about people and everyone should accept them with no questions asked.
Gothics. When they're not getting their asses kicked, they're busy getting drunk and having sex with dead animals.
As you can clearly see, these people have some serious issues that need to be dealt with ASAP. Like I've stated before, they're just faking to get attention, that's all it is. There are other ways to deal with problems in your life. Doing drugs, burning churches, and inflicting physical pain on yourself is the coward way out in my opinion. These people need to wake up and realize that they aren't helping their situation at all doing what they're doing.
I think I've said all there is to say about these people and why they suck. Thanks for hearing me out.
Why I hate emo/punk/metal/goth music/culture
I hate metal music. I hate the culture. It makes me want to throw up I swear. I feel like VOMITING when I see black metal artists with black face paint and crap like that (seriously, I hope this thing burns in hell). I want to round them all up and tell them they all suck to their face. Knowing their insecurity will force them to all kill themselves, I will have singlehandedly, inadvertently killed this disgusting demographic entirely.
Just yesterday I was minding my own business, eating a burger with my friends for lunch. A gruesome chalk-white skinned, greasy black haired, 1,000 body pierce donning heap of flesh walked past me. The rancid smell following them had a density greater than that of the surrounding air, which caused it to linger around me for a good while. I couldn't hear my pulse skyrocketing in rage or my stomach churning in displeasure because of how loud their god-awful music was banging through their earbuds. Needless to say, I threw the damn burger away.
What's their deal anyway? What is it? Why are they always so upset about everything??? OH BOO HOO, MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE WEEKS DUMPED ME, MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE, NO ONE HAS GONE THROUGH THIS MUCH TRAUMA IN THEIR LIFE!! F*CK THE WORLD!!! /slitwrists. Give me a break. You're in high school. How much trauma could you have possibly have gone through? Your friend killed themselves? Sorry, millions of people die every year due to serious reasons such as: starvation, homicide, disease, etc. Your friend was probably an insecure, greasy, failure just like yourself. You're depressed? Go seek professional help you dumbass. Stop screaming into a mic thinking that people will somehow figure out what your problem is. I'm willing to bet all their lives that a good majority of all "depressed" emo kids are just faking to get attention.
Someone please explain to me, why they cut themselves. That's just something I'll never understand. Some people say its to get attention, well I still don't give two shits about them. Some say its because they're misunderstood. Hell yeah they are, all they do is scream and moan, they never say anything coherent. Whatever the hell case it may be, its disgusting, unacceptable, and should be grounds for admission to an asylum. I was watching scene with my grandparents who came over from Egypt to visit, in which a girl was running razors "down the lane" style down her arms, screaming and moaning in pain. I felt embarrassed to have my grandparents think that people like this exist in a place where I live. They had no idea how someone could possibly get that f*cked up.
The truth is, these people need to grow up. A good slap in the face would fix most of these problems. Their music needs to be legally outlawed in this country, and all the artists thrown in prison for the rest of their lives at having mislead such a large group of people. I mean, how can you honestly look at this guy, and not feel uncontrolled hatred and disgust?
Just yesterday I was minding my own business, eating a burger with my friends for lunch. A gruesome chalk-white skinned, greasy black haired, 1,000 body pierce donning heap of flesh walked past me. The rancid smell following them had a density greater than that of the surrounding air, which caused it to linger around me for a good while. I couldn't hear my pulse skyrocketing in rage or my stomach churning in displeasure because of how loud their god-awful music was banging through their earbuds. Needless to say, I threw the damn burger away.
What's their deal anyway? What is it? Why are they always so upset about everything??? OH BOO HOO, MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE WEEKS DUMPED ME, MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE, NO ONE HAS GONE THROUGH THIS MUCH TRAUMA IN THEIR LIFE!! F*CK THE WORLD!!! /slitwrists. Give me a break. You're in high school. How much trauma could you have possibly have gone through? Your friend killed themselves? Sorry, millions of people die every year due to serious reasons such as: starvation, homicide, disease, etc. Your friend was probably an insecure, greasy, failure just like yourself. You're depressed? Go seek professional help you dumbass. Stop screaming into a mic thinking that people will somehow figure out what your problem is. I'm willing to bet all their lives that a good majority of all "depressed" emo kids are just faking to get attention.
Someone please explain to me, why they cut themselves. That's just something I'll never understand. Some people say its to get attention, well I still don't give two shits about them. Some say its because they're misunderstood. Hell yeah they are, all they do is scream and moan, they never say anything coherent. Whatever the hell case it may be, its disgusting, unacceptable, and should be grounds for admission to an asylum. I was watching scene with my grandparents who came over from Egypt to visit, in which a girl was running razors "down the lane" style down her arms, screaming and moaning in pain. I felt embarrassed to have my grandparents think that people like this exist in a place where I live. They had no idea how someone could possibly get that f*cked up.
The truth is, these people need to grow up. A good slap in the face would fix most of these problems. Their music needs to be legally outlawed in this country, and all the artists thrown in prison for the rest of their lives at having mislead such a large group of people. I mean, how can you honestly look at this guy, and not feel uncontrolled hatred and disgust?
Madden-ingly stupid
Nothing screams total noob gamer and vapid, mindless, sports buffoon who will never take anything out of wasting their life away in front of ESPN to me like someone who plays sports games. Any sports game at that. But I've devoted this post to discussing the worst culprit of them all, the Madden franchise.
I don't know what it is. I don't understand what the appeal is. Since around 2003, my friends have been buying the latest installment of Madden every time it comes out. Honestly, I'll be damned if I can tell the difference between any of them. They're buying the SAME, FIFTY DOLLAR PLUS VIDEO GAME YEAR AFTER YEAR. And once a predecessor comes out, they instantly shun the older editions until they've accumulated a stack knee high of Madden games which will never be played ever again because the teams in the game aren't up to date with what's happening in real life. WHO CARES.
No one cares if Brett Favre transferred teams. No one cares what the yards per game of Adrian Peterson is. No one could give less of a shit what the passes/completions ratio of Tom Brady is. By no one, I mean no one who has the mental capacity to realize that professional sports is arguably the biggest waste of time known to man. Yeah, I'll watch the Superbowl, only because I like getting together with my friends and eating ridiculous amounts of snacks and watch the hilarious commercials. Yeah I'll watch the World Cup, because it is easily the most important event of the year when it occurs and I happen to be from Egypt, a country that eats, lives, and sleeps soccer. But to think that I'd waste a solid three hours of my day, several times a week, to watch "the game" is outrageous. No I didn't see "the game" last night. Don't ever ask me that question. Don't make me assure my assumption that you're an idiot for watching "the game" yourself, let me just live in uncertainty.
I've never owned a replica sports jersy in my life, and never will. No, I'm not Michael Vick or Paul Pierce, why would I wear a shirt claiming that I am? They don't care about their fans, they make millions of dollars to play with a ball, you're an avid fan who will never meet these people yet idolize them for no apparent reason other than the fact that they can run fast. Here's a hint, if you get so aroused watching them play sports, why don't you get off your lazy ass and get better at the game yourself? As slim as the chance maybe, you might end up in a professional team yourself, with jersey's named after you. That'll never happen, because you aren't as good as them, and never will be, so you're damned either way.
God I hate professional sports/profesional sports games.
I don't know what it is. I don't understand what the appeal is. Since around 2003, my friends have been buying the latest installment of Madden every time it comes out. Honestly, I'll be damned if I can tell the difference between any of them. They're buying the SAME, FIFTY DOLLAR PLUS VIDEO GAME YEAR AFTER YEAR. And once a predecessor comes out, they instantly shun the older editions until they've accumulated a stack knee high of Madden games which will never be played ever again because the teams in the game aren't up to date with what's happening in real life. WHO CARES.
No one cares if Brett Favre transferred teams. No one cares what the yards per game of Adrian Peterson is. No one could give less of a shit what the passes/completions ratio of Tom Brady is. By no one, I mean no one who has the mental capacity to realize that professional sports is arguably the biggest waste of time known to man. Yeah, I'll watch the Superbowl, only because I like getting together with my friends and eating ridiculous amounts of snacks and watch the hilarious commercials. Yeah I'll watch the World Cup, because it is easily the most important event of the year when it occurs and I happen to be from Egypt, a country that eats, lives, and sleeps soccer. But to think that I'd waste a solid three hours of my day, several times a week, to watch "the game" is outrageous. No I didn't see "the game" last night. Don't ever ask me that question. Don't make me assure my assumption that you're an idiot for watching "the game" yourself, let me just live in uncertainty.
I've never owned a replica sports jersy in my life, and never will. No, I'm not Michael Vick or Paul Pierce, why would I wear a shirt claiming that I am? They don't care about their fans, they make millions of dollars to play with a ball, you're an avid fan who will never meet these people yet idolize them for no apparent reason other than the fact that they can run fast. Here's a hint, if you get so aroused watching them play sports, why don't you get off your lazy ass and get better at the game yourself? As slim as the chance maybe, you might end up in a professional team yourself, with jersey's named after you. That'll never happen, because you aren't as good as them, and never will be, so you're damned either way.
God I hate professional sports/profesional sports games.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Attention: To all those whom have differing opinions than me....
I was recently informed from one of my caporegimes that the author of the lesser blog titled "Paintball Corner" has been taking shots at me and my honest opinions and even challenged me to a "blog war." I playfully accepted, knowing that he couldn't possibly say anything that was worthwhile or even hold my attention for more than a few seconds. But then, he stooped to a new level of asshattery. He wrote a post in which he explains how Braveheart is BETTER than "The Godfather." This was done in response to my earlier post of what movies that I hate. Now here is a blanket statement to all those whom have differing opinions than me: LOL I DONT CARE, ILL RUB IT IN YOUR FACE IF I WANT TO. Anyway, he challenged me, a motion which he will soon regret, as my faithful followers shall see.
Until we meet again...
Until we meet again...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Top Rap/ Hip Hop Groups
I'm out of ideas, I'n not gonna lie. So I decided to write an entry on the best Rap groups. You'd be surprised how many seemingly famous "solo" artists had their roots as humble group or duo members. I define a group as being three or more artists.
4)The Diplomats: This Harlem-based rap group was comprised of three main performers: Jim Jones, Juelz Santana, and Cam'ron. With the latter being the leader, they only released a couple of albums, but nevertheless, they left a huge dent and to this day, you can hear random rappers screaming their trademark slogan "Dipset!" at the beginning of their songs. The group broke up after discrepancies on royalty checks and what have you, which is really a loss, because both Jim Jones and Juelz Santana immediately started sucking. Cam'ron still has my respect, and for some reason, everyone blames him for the group's breakup, which is an asinine suggestion, seeing as he's still trying to bring the group back together. Even though the other two are refusing, thinking they are better off by themselves, a claim which is laughable.
3)G- Unit: Between 2000-2005, G- Unit was rap, hands down. G- Unit has become a pop culture icon that even people who never listened one of their songs still recognizes and respects. Known for their overly aggressive lyrics, they are, in my opinion, the most hated group amongst the music industry itself. Still, each one of its members had his roots as a fricking drug dealer in the streets of New York. I think that qualifies someone to talk about being a gangster, but that's just me. Many say they've been corrupted by all their money and what not, a claim which is not unfounded, but regardless, they still drop gangster rap songs that remain catchy and famous years down the road.
2)NWA: N*ggaz Wit Attitudes, the group that laid the foundation for this entire suggestive, explicit stereotype that rap today has. They had the audacity to make songs titled "F*ck the Police". That's pretty legit in my opinion. Few rappers these days would have the balls to do such a thing, even the notorious drug dealing "Rick Ross" who claims to get in gun fights with the police would get nervous even playing a song like this in public. The group didn't last long due to lots of internal problems, but they still left their mark and are respected by any and all rappers.
1)Geto Boys: This southern based rap group earns my number one spot because of many reasons. The group originated in the heart of Houston, TX, and consisted of a handful of no name artists, save for their unofficial leader and obvious MVP, Scarface. They were quickly shunned by the public for their overly aggressive lyrics, and explicit depictions of blood, gore, violence, etc. Their lifespan was short lived, as is with many groups that come under such attack from the public, but during their time, they made "gangster rappers" like Tupac Shakur and Jay Z lose sleep. They woke up the world to many subjects that people had conveniently seemed to forget about, such as the atrocities and unfairness that occurs in African American ghettos. These people were Civil Rights activists at heart you could tell, but what really captured my attention with them is their ability to rap. From their beats to each of their vocals, every single one of them killed it. Their prize album, The Resurrection is a must have for any casual rap fan, a classic album that they released after a short breakup.
4)The Diplomats: This Harlem-based rap group was comprised of three main performers: Jim Jones, Juelz Santana, and Cam'ron. With the latter being the leader, they only released a couple of albums, but nevertheless, they left a huge dent and to this day, you can hear random rappers screaming their trademark slogan "Dipset!" at the beginning of their songs. The group broke up after discrepancies on royalty checks and what have you, which is really a loss, because both Jim Jones and Juelz Santana immediately started sucking. Cam'ron still has my respect, and for some reason, everyone blames him for the group's breakup, which is an asinine suggestion, seeing as he's still trying to bring the group back together. Even though the other two are refusing, thinking they are better off by themselves, a claim which is laughable.
3)G- Unit: Between 2000-2005, G- Unit was rap, hands down. G- Unit has become a pop culture icon that even people who never listened one of their songs still recognizes and respects. Known for their overly aggressive lyrics, they are, in my opinion, the most hated group amongst the music industry itself. Still, each one of its members had his roots as a fricking drug dealer in the streets of New York. I think that qualifies someone to talk about being a gangster, but that's just me. Many say they've been corrupted by all their money and what not, a claim which is not unfounded, but regardless, they still drop gangster rap songs that remain catchy and famous years down the road.
2)NWA: N*ggaz Wit Attitudes, the group that laid the foundation for this entire suggestive, explicit stereotype that rap today has. They had the audacity to make songs titled "F*ck the Police". That's pretty legit in my opinion. Few rappers these days would have the balls to do such a thing, even the notorious drug dealing "Rick Ross" who claims to get in gun fights with the police would get nervous even playing a song like this in public. The group didn't last long due to lots of internal problems, but they still left their mark and are respected by any and all rappers.
1)Geto Boys: This southern based rap group earns my number one spot because of many reasons. The group originated in the heart of Houston, TX, and consisted of a handful of no name artists, save for their unofficial leader and obvious MVP, Scarface. They were quickly shunned by the public for their overly aggressive lyrics, and explicit depictions of blood, gore, violence, etc. Their lifespan was short lived, as is with many groups that come under such attack from the public, but during their time, they made "gangster rappers" like Tupac Shakur and Jay Z lose sleep. They woke up the world to many subjects that people had conveniently seemed to forget about, such as the atrocities and unfairness that occurs in African American ghettos. These people were Civil Rights activists at heart you could tell, but what really captured my attention with them is their ability to rap. From their beats to each of their vocals, every single one of them killed it. Their prize album, The Resurrection is a must have for any casual rap fan, a classic album that they released after a short breakup.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The CPR of today's Hip Hop
I realized that most of the writing I've been doing about rap recently has been all bashing and complaining. So I decided to take a break from this method of self torture and take a moment to discuss the small group of decent albums that recently dropped.
Scarface's Emeritus: This is the final album by Scarface, making this his ninth studio album. It's a shame when a rapper like Scarface sells less than someone like T- Pain or Chris Brown. This album barely sold over 100,000. Scarface, honestly, has never dropped a bad album. This is no exception, from the hardcore, Southern beats that you can't help but rock your head to, to the cold- hearted, gritty lyrics that get you pumped up and begging to find someone looking at you funny so you can punch them in the mouth.
LL Cool J's Exit 13 : Again, this seals the deal for this rapper. Just like Scarface, this is LL's final album, making it his thirteenth. Just like the former I discussed, this one failed to sell. I don't understand exactly what is wrong with rap fans today. Exit 13 contains a fine mix of radio friendly material, and the hardcore Hip Hop that reminds LL fans of the Mama Said Knock You Out days.
Ice Cube's Raw Footage: I have to hand it to Ice Cube. Had he stopped rapping ten years ago, he still would have been revered for his earth- shattering title "Amerikkka's Most Wanted." Yet he still drops extremely controversial, right- wing Conservative men enraging raps that feature him puffing a fat ass marijuana blunt and giving the finger to the screen in the classic "I don't give a $#*@" personality that Ice Cube has.
G-Unit's Terminate on Sight: Just when I started to accept the fact that G-Unit's heyday was gone, this album barely saved them. A great album overall, definitely not of the caliber that their debut "Beg for Mercy" was, but nevertheless a keeper. Hella better than any of the other garbage out these days anyway.
Krs- One's Hip Hop Lives: Could a more fitting title be given to the rapper that considers himself, and not without good reason, the living, walking, breathing, manifestation of Hip Hop music? I think not. "The Teacher" Krs- One, better known as the last remnant of the hardcore Hip Hop scene of the early 80s, is still making classics, almost thirty years later. Do you think a rapper like Jibbs will be remembered thirty years from now? I hope he'll be dead.
Scarface's Emeritus: This is the final album by Scarface, making this his ninth studio album. It's a shame when a rapper like Scarface sells less than someone like T- Pain or Chris Brown. This album barely sold over 100,000. Scarface, honestly, has never dropped a bad album. This is no exception, from the hardcore, Southern beats that you can't help but rock your head to, to the cold- hearted, gritty lyrics that get you pumped up and begging to find someone looking at you funny so you can punch them in the mouth.
LL Cool J's Exit 13 : Again, this seals the deal for this rapper. Just like Scarface, this is LL's final album, making it his thirteenth. Just like the former I discussed, this one failed to sell. I don't understand exactly what is wrong with rap fans today. Exit 13 contains a fine mix of radio friendly material, and the hardcore Hip Hop that reminds LL fans of the Mama Said Knock You Out days.
Ice Cube's Raw Footage: I have to hand it to Ice Cube. Had he stopped rapping ten years ago, he still would have been revered for his earth- shattering title "Amerikkka's Most Wanted." Yet he still drops extremely controversial, right- wing Conservative men enraging raps that feature him puffing a fat ass marijuana blunt and giving the finger to the screen in the classic "I don't give a $#*@" personality that Ice Cube has.
G-Unit's Terminate on Sight: Just when I started to accept the fact that G-Unit's heyday was gone, this album barely saved them. A great album overall, definitely not of the caliber that their debut "Beg for Mercy" was, but nevertheless a keeper. Hella better than any of the other garbage out these days anyway.
Krs- One's Hip Hop Lives: Could a more fitting title be given to the rapper that considers himself, and not without good reason, the living, walking, breathing, manifestation of Hip Hop music? I think not. "The Teacher" Krs- One, better known as the last remnant of the hardcore Hip Hop scene of the early 80s, is still making classics, almost thirty years later. Do you think a rapper like Jibbs will be remembered thirty years from now? I hope he'll be dead.
It was haunting alright...
After we stormed out of Dragonball cursing in rage at this atrocity, it came to our attention that we still needed to watch a movie. The next option was to go somewhere and discuss how bad Dragonball was, which would have probably ended in someone getting arrested due to setting the movie theater on fire. The only other movie running at the time was Haunting in CT, which I had heard terrible reviews about it, but we said what the hell, the night's already been shot.
We walked in a little late, so this review is going to be kinda choppy, but, it'll save you the time and money of possibly ever watching this movie. The main jist of the movie is as follows: A family moves to this abandoned home somewhere in the depths of the woods, because its "close" (this place is literally in the middle of no where) to a certain hospital that the family's son needs to attend in order to cure his cancer. Well, turns out that the house was actually a funeral home before it became the abandoned pig sty that it was when they moved in. So naturally, there were creepy pictures all over the place, some spooky music, etc. When the family found out that they were living in a place like this, they did virtually nothing about it, and left their mentally unstable cancerous son living in the basement, right next to a locked door that no one could access. Right there I'm raising a red flag on whether or not anyone in this movie has a legally non- handicapped IQ. So the story goes on, the boy starts seeing things, he can't sleep at night. His mom cries whenever she sees him, his dad turns into a raging drunk, and the whole family starts failing.
More scary visions follow, and the boy starts talking with this reverend who understands what's going on. It turns out the place is haunted by the souls of the people whom where murdered in this house so the mad scientist who used to live there could operate on them. By the way, supposedly this movie is actually based on a true events, a claim which quickly appears to be BS as the movie progresses. So the reverend "cures" the boy from this haunting by taking a pile of human ashy remains that were lying in the house somewhere that were supposedly making the place haunted. Turns out, those ashes were actually what was keeping the house safe from the ghosts and all he did was piss them off. So the boy lights the house on fire, and everything burns to the ground, but somehow he survives and is pulled out of the raging inferno at the last second.
The only thing I found haunting about this movie was that it was almost as bad as the one I had escaped from earlier. It was as if there were ghosts in the movie theather determined to make me sit through garbage movies until I succumbed and became a mindless, garbage movie fan like most others that were in the room at the time. While everyone was screaming and getting all teary eyed at the stupid "startle scare" scenes that kept on replaying, I was trying to stay awake so I didn't fall asleep and have nightmares about turning into said people. If there wasn't a semi- hot co star (and I use the term hot very loosely, as in barely scoring a 6/10), this movie would have been a total shut out.
.5/10.
We walked in a little late, so this review is going to be kinda choppy, but, it'll save you the time and money of possibly ever watching this movie. The main jist of the movie is as follows: A family moves to this abandoned home somewhere in the depths of the woods, because its "close" (this place is literally in the middle of no where) to a certain hospital that the family's son needs to attend in order to cure his cancer. Well, turns out that the house was actually a funeral home before it became the abandoned pig sty that it was when they moved in. So naturally, there were creepy pictures all over the place, some spooky music, etc. When the family found out that they were living in a place like this, they did virtually nothing about it, and left their mentally unstable cancerous son living in the basement, right next to a locked door that no one could access. Right there I'm raising a red flag on whether or not anyone in this movie has a legally non- handicapped IQ. So the story goes on, the boy starts seeing things, he can't sleep at night. His mom cries whenever she sees him, his dad turns into a raging drunk, and the whole family starts failing.
More scary visions follow, and the boy starts talking with this reverend who understands what's going on. It turns out the place is haunted by the souls of the people whom where murdered in this house so the mad scientist who used to live there could operate on them. By the way, supposedly this movie is actually based on a true events, a claim which quickly appears to be BS as the movie progresses. So the reverend "cures" the boy from this haunting by taking a pile of human ashy remains that were lying in the house somewhere that were supposedly making the place haunted. Turns out, those ashes were actually what was keeping the house safe from the ghosts and all he did was piss them off. So the boy lights the house on fire, and everything burns to the ground, but somehow he survives and is pulled out of the raging inferno at the last second.
The only thing I found haunting about this movie was that it was almost as bad as the one I had escaped from earlier. It was as if there were ghosts in the movie theather determined to make me sit through garbage movies until I succumbed and became a mindless, garbage movie fan like most others that were in the room at the time. While everyone was screaming and getting all teary eyed at the stupid "startle scare" scenes that kept on replaying, I was trying to stay awake so I didn't fall asleep and have nightmares about turning into said people. If there wasn't a semi- hot co star (and I use the term hot very loosely, as in barely scoring a 6/10), this movie would have been a total shut out.
.5/10.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Dragonball Evolution: The Worst of All Time
How is it possible, that the greatest show of all time, a show that should not have even ever been made into a live action movie unless over 500 million dollars were spent making the effects and all the props etc. How is it possible, that it be made into a movie which I rightfully have the power to grant it the tittle of the worst movie of all time? Last weekend, I gave this movie a chance, even though I had seen the previews and felt thoroughly disgusted, but I thought that it honestly couldn't be that bad.
Five minutes. That's all I saw from this movie. I feel insulted. I was sitting in a theater filled with people who were actually liking this movie. How? I couldn't understand. But then again, they never were, or will be on my level, so to them it was a nice movie. I don't know exactly where to begin with this train wreck. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the greatest hero in any show, Goku, the man who wears nothing but the simplest of traditional Japanese clothing, not f*cking pair of faded jeans and a brand name Tee. What's more, the guy never went to school, he was just too badass, he spent all his days advancing his martial arts skills. What's more, he was never picked on, in the movie, they depicted him as a stupid little nerd who was picked on by everyone else at the high school. I couldn't take it anymore, at this point, they had to stop the movie and bring in an ambulance because I had started punching people in the face indiscriminately from how pissed off I was. Maybe that's not exactly how it went, but nevertheless I was ready to leave a few seconds past the opening credits.
I still don't understand why I wasn't called to write the script. In fact, I should have directed this movie, honestly, I would have led this movie to win every single Grammy, in every single category. The first movie to ever accomplish something like that. Instead this movie will fail miserably at the Box Office, be forgotten and the DVDs will gather dust on Wall Mart shelves and Dragonball Z's reputation will forever be tarnished. A great injustice has been committed. The punishment should be severe. I'm willing to bet that most of the actors in the movie itself haven't ever even watched a single episode of Dragonball Z. Honestly? They would stoop that low? Why? Why did they shoot a bullet through the dignity of Dragonball Z like that? Was it necessary to disrespect all the fans like that?
Worst movie of all time, no questions asked. I have to go do something less painful, like pry my fingernails out with a staple remover.
Five minutes. That's all I saw from this movie. I feel insulted. I was sitting in a theater filled with people who were actually liking this movie. How? I couldn't understand. But then again, they never were, or will be on my level, so to them it was a nice movie. I don't know exactly where to begin with this train wreck. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the greatest hero in any show, Goku, the man who wears nothing but the simplest of traditional Japanese clothing, not f*cking pair of faded jeans and a brand name Tee. What's more, the guy never went to school, he was just too badass, he spent all his days advancing his martial arts skills. What's more, he was never picked on, in the movie, they depicted him as a stupid little nerd who was picked on by everyone else at the high school. I couldn't take it anymore, at this point, they had to stop the movie and bring in an ambulance because I had started punching people in the face indiscriminately from how pissed off I was. Maybe that's not exactly how it went, but nevertheless I was ready to leave a few seconds past the opening credits.
I still don't understand why I wasn't called to write the script. In fact, I should have directed this movie, honestly, I would have led this movie to win every single Grammy, in every single category. The first movie to ever accomplish something like that. Instead this movie will fail miserably at the Box Office, be forgotten and the DVDs will gather dust on Wall Mart shelves and Dragonball Z's reputation will forever be tarnished. A great injustice has been committed. The punishment should be severe. I'm willing to bet that most of the actors in the movie itself haven't ever even watched a single episode of Dragonball Z. Honestly? They would stoop that low? Why? Why did they shoot a bullet through the dignity of Dragonball Z like that? Was it necessary to disrespect all the fans like that?
Worst movie of all time, no questions asked. I have to go do something less painful, like pry my fingernails out with a staple remover.
Dragonball: The Greatest of All Time
Ladies and gentlemen, I only recently noticed that I have committed a heinous crime, a very heinous crime. Throughout this entire forsaken blog, I have not once mentioned to my fellow reader(s?) about my connection with the greatest show of all time, Dragonball Z. Ladies and gentlemen, if only you knew how much this show meant to me when I was a kid. I proudly declare myself the all knower of EVERY SINGLE THING Dragonball related, I am the supreme holder of this title. And everyone who knew anything about Dragonball Z knew it.
Back in early grade school, if anyone had a question about the show, it was me who they came to. I would sit on my throne in the swing set, while humble, DBZ rookies would come and question me about the show, or wish to debate me. I would cause them all to leave with sore behinds due to the sheer severity of the shaftation they received. One particular day, a big, hairy (this guy was in fifth grade and he had facial hair), smelly boy came to me and challenged my supreme knowledge of the show. Approaching me with his entourage of fifth grade bullies, they pushed everyone aside as I sat calmly under the shade of the trees in the field, as I usually did during recess in between bouts of mock Dragonball Z fighting with all of my other friends. With a loud, defiant tone, the guy asked me if I could thoroughly explain to him the dialogue two particular characters had in one specific episode. Thinking that he had one, he started guffawing with all his henchmen who followed suit. I slowly chuckled a proclaimed, "those characters weren't even in that episode son, here's what really happened..."
You see people, while most other little kids during elementary school were busy playing with barbie dolls and watching god awful shows like Teletubbies, Barney, and whatever hell else people that age watched, I was an infinite number of steps ahead of them, watching Dragonball Z. A show filled to bursting limit with violence, gore, profanity, and other vices that people only started watching many, many years later. There were even episodes that weren't allowed to be released in the United States, due to sheer amounts of suggestive information, that I would watch, IN JAPANESE, on the computer.
No matter how many examples I bring up people, I will never to justice to myself in explaining exactly how much I loved this show. I vividly remember owning Dragonball Z toys, clothes, underwear, video games, hats, shoes, sunglasses, lunchboxes, entire DVD box sets, the works people. If it was Dragonball related, I owned it. No questions asked. Every single Dragonball related website on the internet, I knew, and posted on. So why am I bringing all of this up you might ask? Because the other day I rounded up my old school Dragonball friends, and we went and saw the movie, Dragonball: Evolution. A movie which I have proclaimed the worst of all time.
Back in early grade school, if anyone had a question about the show, it was me who they came to. I would sit on my throne in the swing set, while humble, DBZ rookies would come and question me about the show, or wish to debate me. I would cause them all to leave with sore behinds due to the sheer severity of the shaftation they received. One particular day, a big, hairy (this guy was in fifth grade and he had facial hair), smelly boy came to me and challenged my supreme knowledge of the show. Approaching me with his entourage of fifth grade bullies, they pushed everyone aside as I sat calmly under the shade of the trees in the field, as I usually did during recess in between bouts of mock Dragonball Z fighting with all of my other friends. With a loud, defiant tone, the guy asked me if I could thoroughly explain to him the dialogue two particular characters had in one specific episode. Thinking that he had one, he started guffawing with all his henchmen who followed suit. I slowly chuckled a proclaimed, "those characters weren't even in that episode son, here's what really happened..."
You see people, while most other little kids during elementary school were busy playing with barbie dolls and watching god awful shows like Teletubbies, Barney, and whatever hell else people that age watched, I was an infinite number of steps ahead of them, watching Dragonball Z. A show filled to bursting limit with violence, gore, profanity, and other vices that people only started watching many, many years later. There were even episodes that weren't allowed to be released in the United States, due to sheer amounts of suggestive information, that I would watch, IN JAPANESE, on the computer.
No matter how many examples I bring up people, I will never to justice to myself in explaining exactly how much I loved this show. I vividly remember owning Dragonball Z toys, clothes, underwear, video games, hats, shoes, sunglasses, lunchboxes, entire DVD box sets, the works people. If it was Dragonball related, I owned it. No questions asked. Every single Dragonball related website on the internet, I knew, and posted on. So why am I bringing all of this up you might ask? Because the other day I rounded up my old school Dragonball friends, and we went and saw the movie, Dragonball: Evolution. A movie which I have proclaimed the worst of all time.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
More movies that I hate
3. Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions. Honestly, I can't differentiate between these two movies at all. They all seem like one massive blur to me. The only scene I remember from any of these two movies is the obnoxious love scene in Reloaded. Everything else is literally one massive conglomeration of stupid meaningless dialogue and repetitive action sequences. I had more fun writing this review than I did watching the actual movies, and I'm extremely angry right now, at having to even remember those two atrocities. 3/10.
4. Harry Potter Series. Now, when I was a lot younger, I was quite a fan of the book series, as was everyone else my age, so long as they had the required intelligence level to actually read the books and understand what was going on. When I first heard the books were being made into movies, I went crazy happy. I left the movies with a gloomy outlook on life. If I ever have to hear that annoying theme music ever again, I may have to be forced into a straightjacket and thrown into a padded room. Again, the movies are too long. It seems as if every terrible movie decides to draw itself out as long as possible in a hopeless attempt to make the audience forget how terrible it actually was. It actually worked on some people. These movies are actually a hit for some reason, and I hear they're working on the sixth installment. I also hear that its going to be so long, that they've partitioned the movie into two different parts. That's a new level of stupid right there. I've read the sixth book, its SHORTER than the preceding one, how can the movie possibly be longer??? 2.5/10.
5. Titanic. I have never seen this movie, so I really don't have the right to write a lengthy hate- filled review on why I despise this movie, but its my blog and not yours haha. I hate this movie like none other. I think it might actually be LONGER than Braveheart when it comes to run time, but should I ever have the extreme misfortune of having to sit through this movie, and feel the need to get up and take a break, I would not unpause the movie, therefore making it seem shorter than Braveheart. All I understand about this movie is that its a massive love story. From the start, that doesn't spark an atomic sized shred of interest within me. I remember once I was at a friend's house, and I was flipping channels mindlessly and I happened to flip over the Titanc. Immediately, his obnoxious sister started jumping up and down screaming, "oh my God its the titanic, the TITANIC, bring it back NOW!!!!!" So I flip back to the movie, and watch for several seconds as a couple stand on the deck of a massive ship staring at each other, saying nothing, with the sun setting in the background. Immediately, my friend's sister's eyes swelled with tears, for reasons I still can't understand, and I changed the channel before I got too disgusted and threw the TV out of the window. 0/10.
4. Harry Potter Series. Now, when I was a lot younger, I was quite a fan of the book series, as was everyone else my age, so long as they had the required intelligence level to actually read the books and understand what was going on. When I first heard the books were being made into movies, I went crazy happy. I left the movies with a gloomy outlook on life. If I ever have to hear that annoying theme music ever again, I may have to be forced into a straightjacket and thrown into a padded room. Again, the movies are too long. It seems as if every terrible movie decides to draw itself out as long as possible in a hopeless attempt to make the audience forget how terrible it actually was. It actually worked on some people. These movies are actually a hit for some reason, and I hear they're working on the sixth installment. I also hear that its going to be so long, that they've partitioned the movie into two different parts. That's a new level of stupid right there. I've read the sixth book, its SHORTER than the preceding one, how can the movie possibly be longer??? 2.5/10.
5. Titanic. I have never seen this movie, so I really don't have the right to write a lengthy hate- filled review on why I despise this movie, but its my blog and not yours haha. I hate this movie like none other. I think it might actually be LONGER than Braveheart when it comes to run time, but should I ever have the extreme misfortune of having to sit through this movie, and feel the need to get up and take a break, I would not unpause the movie, therefore making it seem shorter than Braveheart. All I understand about this movie is that its a massive love story. From the start, that doesn't spark an atomic sized shred of interest within me. I remember once I was at a friend's house, and I was flipping channels mindlessly and I happened to flip over the Titanc. Immediately, his obnoxious sister started jumping up and down screaming, "oh my God its the titanic, the TITANIC, bring it back NOW!!!!!" So I flip back to the movie, and watch for several seconds as a couple stand on the deck of a massive ship staring at each other, saying nothing, with the sun setting in the background. Immediately, my friend's sister's eyes swelled with tears, for reasons I still can't understand, and I changed the channel before I got too disgusted and threw the TV out of the window. 0/10.
Movies that I hate
I don't consider myself some over hyped, movie critic working for some literary magazine or something, getting paid too much to write reviews on movies that consist of single word statements such as, "Powerful," or, "Inspirational." I don't buy all of that. I go see a movie, then I like to spit it how it is, if it sucks, I'll tell you WHY it sucks.
1. Braveheart. I hate this movie. I hate people who like this movie too much. This movie also happens to be the longest movie of all time, with a running time of approximately eleven hours. Its actually a little less, but you will undoubtedly have to take breaks and go do something less painful, such as having a group shower with your toaster or something to that effect. People have a lot of arguments about why they think this movie doesn't suck. I've even meet someone with the audacity to rank this movie amongst his top three. TOP THREE. His only argument was that it won best picture that year. Seriously? Best Picture? Doesn't that award get passed out to a movie EVERY SINGLE YEAR? As in, if you were to rank movies on whether or not they won Best Picture, it would be in the top eighty movies or so? That's a lot different than the top three. Another thing that really pisses me off about this movie is all of the fighting scenes. I hate it when the camera starting moving wildly, making it near impossible to have the slightest idea what's actually happening. Ditch this movie. 2/10.
2. Star Wars Episode I, II. This might possibly be the biggest Hollywood scandal of all time in my opinion. So you're telling me, the most notorious, diabolical villain of all time, had his roots as a little nerd building ugly robots and entangled in arguably the most painful love scenes to ever plague American cinema? HELL NAW. First off, any scene that includes both Padme and Anakin for more than five seconds by themselves should be taken out. Completely. Replace those scenes with random space dogfights, anything, but honestly, those scenes pissed me off. And, I'm probably not the first one to bring this up, but was the train wreck known as Jar Jar Binks, really necessary? Why was this even implemented. Did George Lucas even once think about what he was doing to his old school fans? These movies are terrible. 1.5/10.
1. Braveheart. I hate this movie. I hate people who like this movie too much. This movie also happens to be the longest movie of all time, with a running time of approximately eleven hours. Its actually a little less, but you will undoubtedly have to take breaks and go do something less painful, such as having a group shower with your toaster or something to that effect. People have a lot of arguments about why they think this movie doesn't suck. I've even meet someone with the audacity to rank this movie amongst his top three. TOP THREE. His only argument was that it won best picture that year. Seriously? Best Picture? Doesn't that award get passed out to a movie EVERY SINGLE YEAR? As in, if you were to rank movies on whether or not they won Best Picture, it would be in the top eighty movies or so? That's a lot different than the top three. Another thing that really pisses me off about this movie is all of the fighting scenes. I hate it when the camera starting moving wildly, making it near impossible to have the slightest idea what's actually happening. Ditch this movie. 2/10.
2. Star Wars Episode I, II. This might possibly be the biggest Hollywood scandal of all time in my opinion. So you're telling me, the most notorious, diabolical villain of all time, had his roots as a little nerd building ugly robots and entangled in arguably the most painful love scenes to ever plague American cinema? HELL NAW. First off, any scene that includes both Padme and Anakin for more than five seconds by themselves should be taken out. Completely. Replace those scenes with random space dogfights, anything, but honestly, those scenes pissed me off. And, I'm probably not the first one to bring this up, but was the train wreck known as Jar Jar Binks, really necessary? Why was this even implemented. Did George Lucas even once think about what he was doing to his old school fans? These movies are terrible. 1.5/10.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I hate McDonald's
It recently came to my attention that McDonald's is still open in the United States. After I was pulled off the guy who said that, for I had been beating them up for merely suggesting such a gruesome thought, I was told that it was true: McDonald's is still serving millions of people a day.
Let me explain something for those whom may be a little confused. Last year, it came to my attention that I was being served food at school that was quite possibly a step down from food that prison inmates receive. I felt quite irritated, and demanded that I find a new place to eat for lunch. Being a Sophomore, I wasn't allowed to leave school campus for lunch, shoving that silly little technicality out of the way, I asked my friend if he wanted to go out to eat somewhere for lunch that day. Naturally, the first place that came to our American, mind washed minds, was McDonald's.
So we went. And we liked it. So we went again, and again, and again. This McDonald's binge lasted for what I think was roughly three weeks. Every, single, day, we would drive to McDonald's for lunch. We fell victims to this corporate monger, we became attached to the smell of barbecue sauce and McChickens on a bun. I would watch with sheer lust and longing, as the employees would toss those golden sticks up and down in the pool of boiling grease, sprinkle obnoxious amounts of salt on them, and shovel generous portions into little red pockets, emblazoned with the notorious "M" that came to me sometimes when I slept. And all it took to rightfully own these precious foodstuffs was a little scavenging in the bottom of my car, where I was sure to find enough dimes and nickels to exchange for this medium sized bag of ecstasy.
Soon enough though, we started to tire of the same old routine, so we started being more liberal in our meal selections. Sometimes going for the fish, the occasional shake, and very rarely, the salad. Okay so the last one was a joke, but really, we started getting seriously dissatisfied with eating the same thing over and over again, but we still went there anyway. Why? I don't know. I honestly don't know what it was that made us return every day, even though we were sick of the place. But soon it started turning into a little more than than mere distaste, I started hating the place. The sound of "Double cheese, medium fries, apple pie" was almost less tolerable than listening to thrash metal.
BUT WE STILL WENT. Eventually though, the end of the school year caught up to us, and we were forced to take a break. Over this experience I have learned many things. Such as: eating McDonald's gives you mad diarrhea, increased pulse rate, sweaty armpits, a crusty, overworked heart, and an overall sense of extreme discomfort. For a while I couldn't make the connection, I didn't know what/span> it was that brought about these symptoms, until one (1) weekend day I skipped out on my dosage, and all my symptoms went away. Then I realized what a terrible mistake we had been making, and I vowed to never eat McDonald's again. Of course this vow has been broken, but every time I break it, I am very quickly reminded why I stopped eating there...
Let me explain something for those whom may be a little confused. Last year, it came to my attention that I was being served food at school that was quite possibly a step down from food that prison inmates receive. I felt quite irritated, and demanded that I find a new place to eat for lunch. Being a Sophomore, I wasn't allowed to leave school campus for lunch, shoving that silly little technicality out of the way, I asked my friend if he wanted to go out to eat somewhere for lunch that day. Naturally, the first place that came to our American, mind washed minds, was McDonald's.
So we went. And we liked it. So we went again, and again, and again. This McDonald's binge lasted for what I think was roughly three weeks. Every, single, day, we would drive to McDonald's for lunch. We fell victims to this corporate monger, we became attached to the smell of barbecue sauce and McChickens on a bun. I would watch with sheer lust and longing, as the employees would toss those golden sticks up and down in the pool of boiling grease, sprinkle obnoxious amounts of salt on them, and shovel generous portions into little red pockets, emblazoned with the notorious "M" that came to me sometimes when I slept. And all it took to rightfully own these precious foodstuffs was a little scavenging in the bottom of my car, where I was sure to find enough dimes and nickels to exchange for this medium sized bag of ecstasy.
Soon enough though, we started to tire of the same old routine, so we started being more liberal in our meal selections. Sometimes going for the fish, the occasional shake, and very rarely, the salad. Okay so the last one was a joke, but really, we started getting seriously dissatisfied with eating the same thing over and over again, but we still went there anyway. Why? I don't know. I honestly don't know what it was that made us return every day, even though we were sick of the place. But soon it started turning into a little more than than mere distaste, I started hating the place. The sound of "Double cheese, medium fries, apple pie" was almost less tolerable than listening to thrash metal.
BUT WE STILL WENT. Eventually though, the end of the school year caught up to us, and we were forced to take a break. Over this experience I have learned many things. Such as: eating McDonald's gives you mad diarrhea, increased pulse rate, sweaty armpits, a crusty, overworked heart, and an overall sense of extreme discomfort. For a while I couldn't make the connection, I didn't know what/span> it was that brought about these symptoms, until one (1) weekend day I skipped out on my dosage, and all my symptoms went away. Then I realized what a terrible mistake we had been making, and I vowed to never eat McDonald's again. Of course this vow has been broken, but every time I break it, I am very quickly reminded why I stopped eating there...
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