I don't consider myself some over hyped, movie critic working for some literary magazine or something, getting paid too much to write reviews on movies that consist of single word statements such as, "Powerful," or, "Inspirational." I don't buy all of that. I go see a movie, then I like to spit it how it is, if it sucks, I'll tell you WHY it sucks.
1. Braveheart. I hate this movie. I hate people who like this movie too much. This movie also happens to be the longest movie of all time, with a running time of approximately eleven hours. Its actually a little less, but you will undoubtedly have to take breaks and go do something less painful, such as having a group shower with your toaster or something to that effect. People have a lot of arguments about why they think this movie doesn't suck. I've even meet someone with the audacity to rank this movie amongst his top three. TOP THREE. His only argument was that it won best picture that year. Seriously? Best Picture? Doesn't that award get passed out to a movie EVERY SINGLE YEAR? As in, if you were to rank movies on whether or not they won Best Picture, it would be in the top eighty movies or so? That's a lot different than the top three. Another thing that really pisses me off about this movie is all of the fighting scenes. I hate it when the camera starting moving wildly, making it near impossible to have the slightest idea what's actually happening. Ditch this movie. 2/10.
2. Star Wars Episode I, II. This might possibly be the biggest Hollywood scandal of all time in my opinion. So you're telling me, the most notorious, diabolical villain of all time, had his roots as a little nerd building ugly robots and entangled in arguably the most painful love scenes to ever plague American cinema? HELL NAW. First off, any scene that includes both Padme and Anakin for more than five seconds by themselves should be taken out. Completely. Replace those scenes with random space dogfights, anything, but honestly, those scenes pissed me off. And, I'm probably not the first one to bring this up, but was the train wreck known as Jar Jar Binks, really necessary? Why was this even implemented. Did George Lucas even once think about what he was doing to his old school fans? These movies are terrible. 1.5/10.
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1 comment:
Ok lets go over your disgusting Braveheart hating point by point.
1. Bravehearts running time is closer to 3 hours, along with the dark knight and the godfather, and goodfellas which you place in your top 10 movies of all time.
2. I am presumably the man who is top 3 "idiot", i place it there because it appeals to me, its in my top 3 not because its one of the best movies of all time, but because its in my top 3 favorite movies ever, aka i liked it better than your precious godfather.
3. Finally, if you think the camera movies to much during the action scenes you clearly have not seen this movie moron, directors have copied Mel's cut of scenes out during motions to make attacks seem more violent.
all in all, go screw yourself, braveheart is a classic.
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