I hate McDonald's

It recently came to my attention that McDonald's is still open in the United States. After I was pulled off the guy who said that, for I had been beating them up for merely suggesting such a gruesome thought, I was told that it was true: McDonald's is still serving millions of people a day.

Let me explain something for those whom may be a little confused. Last year, it came to my attention that I was being served food at school that was quite possibly a step down from food that prison inmates receive. I felt quite irritated, and demanded that I find a new place to eat for lunch. Being a Sophomore, I wasn't allowed to leave school campus for lunch, shoving that silly little technicality out of the way, I asked my friend if he wanted to go out to eat somewhere for lunch that day. Naturally, the first place that came to our American, mind washed minds, was McDonald's.

So we went. And we liked it. So we went again, and again, and again. This McDonald's binge lasted for what I think was roughly three weeks. Every, single, day, we would drive to McDonald's for lunch. We fell victims to this corporate monger, we became attached to the smell of barbecue sauce and McChickens on a bun. I would watch with sheer lust and longing, as the employees would toss those golden sticks up and down in the pool of boiling grease, sprinkle obnoxious amounts of salt on them, and shovel generous portions into little red pockets, emblazoned with the notorious "M" that came to me sometimes when I slept. And all it took to rightfully own these precious foodstuffs was a little scavenging in the bottom of my car, where I was sure to find enough dimes and nickels to exchange for this medium sized bag of ecstasy.

Soon enough though, we started to tire of the same old routine, so we started being more liberal in our meal selections. Sometimes going for the fish, the occasional shake, and very rarely, the salad. Okay so the last one was a joke, but really, we started getting seriously dissatisfied with eating the same thing over and over again, but we still went there anyway. Why? I don't know. I honestly don't know what it was that made us return every day, even though we were sick of the place. But soon it started turning into a little more than than mere distaste, I started hating the place. The sound of "Double cheese, medium fries, apple pie" was almost less tolerable than listening to thrash metal.

BUT WE STILL WENT. Eventually though, the end of the school year caught up to us, and we were forced to take a break. Over this experience I have learned many things. Such as: eating McDonald's gives you mad diarrhea, increased pulse rate, sweaty armpits, a crusty, overworked heart, and an overall sense of extreme discomfort. For a while I couldn't make the connection, I didn't know what/span> it was that brought about these symptoms, until one (1) weekend day I skipped out on my dosage, and all my symptoms went away. Then I realized what a terrible mistake we had been making, and I vowed to never eat McDonald's again. Of course this vow has been broken, but every time I break it, I am very quickly reminded why I stopped eating there...